Ir’s no secret, with holding anger isn’t a good thing. Real down and dirty anger is a terrible thing. It’s not what you say, it is how you say it. It is so, so important to react kindly, with genuine kindness therefore, sobering anger instead of reacting and harming your own spirit and the spirit of anyone else involved.
Here’s a great example. A friend just told me a story about a little old lady who he worked for. While he was moving furniture, he hurt his back. He told the lady that he hurt and had to go home. She rudely replied as if he was faking it. What’s wrong with people? People hurt us every day. If we don’t manifest self control in our replies, we lose not only the battle but the war.
At first reaction, even hearing the story was painful. It brought up emotions in me, and it hadn’t happened to me. It happened to a friend. I would never let anyone treat me that way, but I do. My heart was sinking, yes I do let people treat me badly and always have.
People matter to me, even if I don’t matter to them. I think that’s what makes me angry. Angry at myself, for the most part. I only recently realized, I’m a suppressor of anger, and when we do suppress anger, it will always come out and often in inappropriate ways, or towards those we feel safe with. Not good because those ‘safe’ people will often walk away from anger, making the angry more angered. It’s a vicious circle of anger.
How I now manifest sobering anger?
I have held anger in, not sobering anger rather drunken emotions that resulted in anger. How I now manifest sobering anger isn’t always simple. Major things have angered me but realizing the main thing that angered me was how I let people treat me. I have, in the past, attracted the needy, and been very kind to people in the street and in every walk of my life. It’s not safe to be kind, its a jungle out there a literal man-eating jungle.
Why do bad people hurt good people? It’s a mystery to me. When someone figures it out, let me know or make a comment on this page, because hurting people, with me is never an option. Now, I realize I need safety in my choices, safety in choosing friends and associates and practice getting into the habit to say nothing at first, until I think about what happened, so that the time it reaches someones ears, my thoughts won’t have turned into something rotten.
None of us are perfect. I sober my anger, knowing I work hard to be kind and not angry, that I am a genuinely soft-spoken female and proud of it, to speak softly and not carry a stick is important to me, and to practice helping others who deserve it and to remember my value and not let anything reek havoc in my spirit is a must.
We get angry if we’re being wronged. It’s a natural instinct. If it’s not irrational anger, then yes, you should communicate and communicate only after a hiatus or time to think on what happened that angers you.
As for me, I’m a kind, gentle spirit in reality who hates to see suffering. I hate fighting and unkindness, but i also hate feeling bad or unloved so I have, in the past, easily been angered and lost all self control. I’m retarded though, lol. I hope you’re not retarded like me (smiling)
Seriously, I am a giver, not a taker, and its the kindest people who get angered out of control. Think about that for a minute. Stick that bee under all our bonnets. Even the hardest of persons, may be kind deep down, they’re just angered beyond being able to sober their own emotions. This is what I hope to help.
Be well, and “always do the right thing” and work to get better each day. Pick a flower and give it to someone. Say a kind word to a stranger. Walk outside of yourself, our instinct to defend and protect, and make it a safe place by practicing saying kind but firm replies. No name calling, no berating. Speak kind and be well, it’s a given. The same as gravity holds our feet to the earth, so shall kindness be returned in full.