I really have to say this before I crack

Disclaimer:  This article is anonymous and was submitted by a reader and not my own personal story.The cartoon in the header is sure enough, myself; however, it was created by self to state my own state of Nirvana. 🙂 (smiles) Keeping it real, having a good sense of humor is also another way to ‘sober your emotions‘.

This article contribution was accepted and re-written to be thought-provoking and very painful. Part of sobering your emotion is dealing with pain, so we don’t take it out on ourselves or others. Telling someone helps. Talking with others is consoling as well as tears are also a great release of pain. Once released, the pressure of the pain subsides.

Eventually your emotions are sobered enough not to hurt or create future  toxic relationships. Thank you for the submission, it is much appreciated. Please feel free to submit your own stories, which will be re-written for inclusion.  Here is the article, “I really have to say this before I crack.” Learning how not to be toxic is important. Sober your emotions by reading the following article:

 

“The definition of a toxic relationship is one which is angry and hurtful to the point of doing serious harm to self, via emotional or physical. Toxic relationships, or anger and hurt create sensations in us as I define as drunken emotions.”

Dear Sober Emotions,

Thank you for your website. My son and I are enjoying the information, as we are both drunken with emotion over breakups. I appreciate the way you are helping others have an outlet for their own emotions.

As for my breakup. I have to say this before I crack up. He must freaking hate me. I have to write a post, hoping it will help others sober their own emotions, before I crack. Today is one of the first times in a month that I feel like crying. Because I’m at my Mom and Dad’s, I can’t freaking cry!

I’ve changed:

I don’t share my emotions now, not like I used to. I keep things to myself. All the pain of the way he left, knowing how I felt horrible for the way I acted, the pain is just immense. What’s worse, is he knows how lingering shit hurts me more. What’s worse, is that we truly got along and I felt we had a ton of respect for each other. He always discounted why anyone would love him, and said he wasn’t ready or willing with anyone. Most people say this to keep from hurting the other person. In his case he meant it.

Lingering shit hurts more than if its resolved quickly, what the fluck? The reason I’m so upset is its been almost 4 months and he barely writes a nice text, and just sent me a dear John letter almost 2 weeks ago. It’s just not fair that he won’t talk, because I do understand what happened, and I am sorry for how I acted and reacted to the news that he loved me but wasn’t ‘in-love’. Okay so be it. I don’t need in-love from someone who isn’t willing. It’s just too hurtful and I can’t stand the pain anymore. Why would I even try?

So, somehow I did something horrible enough and lost his friendship too, either that or he’s angry and or cruel, I have no way of gauging because he’s not talking, and right now I don’t really care. I freaking cared too much. I will never care again, for anyone who doesn’t return my feelings I’m quickly shutting down everything I give, because the balance didn’t equal. He was a taker of my heart, and I’m glad he’s gone like that. I forgive him for everything, and wouldn’t even be flucking talking about this right now, had he even come back once to see the completely sedate me. I’m a completely different person, and I hope the same for him.

What I hate more is that the way he’s reacting is scarring me more, when he could take a simple minute to be sincerely a friend. He knows I don’t like broken friendships, who does? We can’t care about shit in life, because when we do we’re somehow weak. I am not weak!

Okay, so I loved him deep. He never returned the love, except to be a very cool roommate for a year. He’s saying he never loved me, and although I didn’t believe it then, it’s obviously true. I am not angry with him now, I was then. I wasn’t angry because he didn’t love me, I was angry because he acted like he did and yet said he didn’t. That’s as far as I’m willing to explain this very personal, painful part of my life.

 

 

 

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