My list of affirmations

One thing I dislike about myself, is always being so easily swayed. My list of affirmations allowed me not to be wishy washy, or be distracted by other peoples idea of who I should be or how I should think when issues pop up.

Life is life and we all have stress. Who are you really? It was time for me to go to work and create my list of affirmations.

But I was still so angry.

Angry at myself, angry at life in general. My mind couldn’t sort through who I really was because of all the anger. No one sweeter, had more anger, I had so much anger. Anyone who knows me knows my story. I’m going to use this anger, this tenacious fighting spirit to be and do wonderful things, to be the opposite of what I’m bitter about, to shake the earth, to be a shelter through someones wind and rain, to build my love for others from the ground up.

Smart people know exactly what they want and don’t settle for less or listen to others opinions, they don’t even need to ask, they just feel who they are and what makes them feel good. They don’t let anger rule them, or bad feelings, past, or anything bad, these things are pushed aside, and filled with happy memories and calm, not bitter feelings.

Here are my feel-good affirmations. Here is what makes me love me.

For those of you who know me, be prepared for some raw thoughts. This isn’t something you share with your parents or children, but it’s time to be me, …it’s over time. If I’m going to be the real me I’m going to do it without fear.

Why now?  It’s hard to say. Maybe, because I was forced by another loss to reach deep inside me, so I didn’t hurt myself again with over emotion or addiction.

To stay loyal to what makes me unlike anyone else in the world I had to pull a list of what I did love about myself and ignore what I didn’t Make your list Kat, and stand on it. Stand by your affirmations and don’t let anyone or anything distract you.

  1. I’m awesome because I’m different – I’m neither sinner or saint – I’m a beautiful mixture of both – stay that way – don’t fold to the pressures of what others think you should be. This is my firm affirmation now.

“I’m neither a witness nor a sinner, I’m okay when I choose a cigarette over a drink. I’m okay if I’ve loved outside of marriage, I’m not a sinner like any other, if so I’m a sinner with a heart of gold.”

The way I am is sweet. I can be a soul-searching peaceful, and loving female, with the ability to float around the house like air,  I am inherently joyful not sad.  But I am also edgy and dress different, my hair is different every day, I care for myself, my body and my mind.

I’m different because I don’t feel quilt for anything I’ve ever done, nor bitter for ever being hurt by anyone or thing. This is powerful. I am this way because its the only way I find peace. I enjoy forgetting about the past, and love the push of moving forward.

2. No drinking, no relationship – In order for me to sort through what’s good for me as in a relationship, no drinking allowed. My thoughts will not be clouded by drinking or drugs, I won’t have a one night stand because there will always be someone out there interesting, and cool, but might not be sent by God, so I can’t take that chance. I can’t do something I know or think is wrong and expect that its the answer to God’s prayer (as in one night stand, because I’m a sex addict). I refuse.

I will wait, without drinking and even if I find someone that is as interested in me as I am him, no sex, no giving myself fully for a very very long time. If someone is willing to wait for you, sexually, it’s the most awesome gift ever, and something you know will last. This is the hardest thing for me ever, because I am a lover by nature. If burns like Summer inside me, …to find that lasting love, but I have to wait on it and the patience is what will make me more beautiful, more than penetrating sex.  I need to feel the sand beneath my own feet, before I wrap my legs around someone who doesn’t burn with love inside, like I do.

This is enough to focus on for now, because staying sweet not bitter, staying sweet and being who I really am, neither sinner or saint,  along with not drinking and no sex, well…that’s a list that needs refined fully so that the rest of my affirmations have a good foundation. I’ve created a foundation that won’t tumble my house ever again!

Standing on my affirmations, now and forever! This is who I am.

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