Your fix should be a healthy determination to be solid with your list of do’s and don’ts and not changing your mind or letting anything distract you from getting that fix
Let me put it to you this way, for me nothing worked until I found a healthy fix. My healthy fix was a solid determination to be a friend only to men, and not a lover. Period. It’s against everything I believe in, and is harmful if both parties aren’t deeply in love. I won’t get into the way I think it’s harmful here in this post, but I damn sure will in another one.
I’m not about ‘outting’ anyone when I write these posts. I try hard to be fair with anything in my past, and we all have one.
With females my solid determination is to be a friend forever. So long as they’re high-quality, non-toxic, success-oriented people, then and only then can that person be in my ‘fold’, because for me, I don’t keep too many low-quality people in my life. I’m very picky.
I want to re-build my love for self and all the good in me, from the ground up.
Your fix should be a healthy determination to be solid with your list of do’s and don’ts and not changing your mind or letting anything distract you from getting that healthy fix of sober emotions and a solid love for self.
Evaluating your relationships with men and women – and how they effect you finding a healthy fix
I set about finding a fix for myself. Something I can focus on vs. a broken heart with broken emotions. I preach not having sex unless you’re deeply in love, and yet I was willing to have sex with others that weren’t in love or deeply loved me. This is my most recent set back I’m talking about and a huge reason I started this group to start.
I’m a sex addict too, imagine that? I’m sure my mother and church friends love reading this right now. Imagine Kat a sex addict. I have control over my sex now and have for a very long time. A sex addiction is likely the most embarrassing addiction of all.
With all this in mind, I refuse, simply refuse to even consider a relationship with anyone for at least a year sober, along with a list of other things, this is my solid fix. I’m going to be as determined not to have a relationship as I was to have one.
I don’t care if I’m approached by Brad Pitt in the flesh, I owe it to myself, and to GOD to be the best friend I can be to everyone, but I don’t have to give myself fully unless the other person is willing.
If months go by and an attractive, on my list man, keeps pursuing me, it will be hard yes, but not impossible.
Evaluating your relationship with your current fix – the bottle?
I can’t say that I’m fixed on the bottle. The bottle only happens to me when I get drunk on emotion first. Right now, today, as I write this post my world is a mess. Each day brings me the same problems that I can before my last drinking binge. Today is a good day to write this post, great therapy in evaluating self and finding a new healthy fix.
My next fix is the ability to face my problems head on by going out a lot to family bars, without drinking. You are very attractive if you love yourself, look great and don’t drink in a bar. Trust me, you can sort through the winners and losers quickly this way. Always be the best you can be. Let that be your fix. It’s likely you have friends and family who enjoys drinking appropriately and you will want to share time with them, when they’re having drinks. AA preaches to stay away from this type of thinking and I say, face it head on.
I’m still coping with accepting someone didn’t love me like I did him, and now doesn’t want to be a friend, I’m still coping with the illness of a close family member, and like everyone I have intense stress at times. The difference is in the way you deal with the stress. Create a healthy fix for yourself, by being as determined to run to the healthy as you were to the bottle, drugs, sex or whatever your addiction is. Be still, be calm, yes you can be that strong.